Consider yourself lucky to fall under the category of being a writer's muse.
No you don't have to like it, but you made that person feel something and they want to share it with the world in their writing. You have no say about what that writer chooses to create or say (yes some of us do ask first or leave out names. We aren't stealing stuff from anyone by writing about them.). Sometimes you'll even get blessed with someone who doesn't drag your name, like me.
With all my writing about people that I do, I haven't said one bad thing about an ex-lover or ex-friend in my poetry, blogs, or my novel. Why would I? It isn't necessary.
I am not writing this post to get back at that person for trying to bring me down. I'm not writing this post to clear my name either. Let people think what they will. But I will share what goes through a writer's mind on various subjects of their many muses with all of you readers out there. Because honestly, non-writers may never truly understand why writers write about muses even after they aren't in their lives anymore or why there are muses in the first place. But, hi, I am going to share my view on the subject and hope you take away something positive.
Maybe I can save the next writer from hurt and feeling like a failure. Or maybe we are all destined to be questioned about our writing. Who knows. I won't sit back and play nice. My writing is my whole world. The one thing I have dreamed of being since I was 10. I won't let one group of bullies take that dream from me.
What is a muse?
There are actually two meanings when you look under the noun section on Google.
1. (in Greek and Roman mythology) each of nine goddesses, the daughters of Zeus and Mnemosyne, who preside over the arts and sciences.
2. a person or personified force who is the source of inspiration for a creative artist.
"Yeats' muse, Maud Gonne"
Muses have been around since Greek and Roman Mythology days, late Middle English: from Old French, or from Latin Musa, from Greek Mousa.
Meaning this is not a new term by any means and people should be honored to be thought of as an artist thought of the goddesses in Greek and Roman Mythology times.
Types of Muses in My Writing: Friends, Family, Crushes, Ex-Friends, Ex-Lovers, Exes, Experiences, and things I feel or have felt in my day-to-day life (Mental Health Struggles), or nothing at all (meaning the words were just thoughts in my head).
Let's dive into each of those muses with examples of each. I do hope, you take positive views away from these explanations. Being a writer is more than just sudden inspiration and stringing words together. We feel things 10x's more than an average human and we are brave enough to share it with an audience. We also don't share to be liked or loved, but to put our words out in the world in hopes that someone feels better and connects on a deep level with them.
Some of my muses often include my friends. They don't always appear in plain view, but they inspire more than any reader can catch. I love being able to send them poems or any writings and say, "look what you inspired me to create."
Their creative influence is something I will cherish forever. This poem shows that no matter how uncalm I feel, I know they'll grab my hand and ease the stress.
I'm not sure my best friend knows there were a few poems about him when we took a break from speaking back in March, but there are a few on my socials. I think I did ended up telling him later that he pulled some interesting poems out of me. Even though they were from a place of hurt, it was inspired by one of my best friends.
I don't write about family, often, but they mean the world to me. They are the support system behind me being able to follow my dreams. My first ever audience. My cheerleaders. Although they don't show up as much, they are there between the lines. They are the ones that give me the courage to step out into the world even when I am being stubborn with them, they are there.
Suntan lines, sunburn aches, but big smiles all the same. Sand between our toes As the future lies ahead. I'll take the plunge. As long as you are on my side.
-- Summer 2018
Honorable mention: "Miles Away," which appears in my first poetry collection: "Pieces of My Heart" not only shows my love for my family but where I come from, as well.
Here's where my writing gets mushy and sweet, the poems about my crushes. That is actually how I started writing poems back in high school. Of course then I was just writing them for fun and meaningless, really. But as I developed crushes during my senior year of college, I wrote about them more often.
If you've read "Pieces of My Heart," you know that that collection is full of poems from the first guy I fell in love with when I was 21/22. I look back on those poems with love and knowledge that I got to experience something magical back then. The poems (above), "Remember You" and "I Remembered You" are poems about this guy. The first one is in my collection and the other is my response to it that I didn't ruin his good game as I had promised two years prior. It is possible to not drag someone through the dirt after they are no longer your crush.
Yes, I still write about my crushes. When I started writing about a new guy, I amazed myself. I finally started to open my heart again, and it felt so good to feel those feelings again. They are cute, raw, open, and honest.
A heated topic right now is my poems about my ex-friends. I can see why, but I am not dragging their name through the dirt, so I don't see what all the fuss is about anyway. I write what is on my mind and what I have been through, and that sometimes includes people from my past or recent past.
So like I said in the beginning, maybe instead of being mad, be honored that you impacted someone's art. You brought forth maybe some of the greatest bodies of work because you existed in the same world at one time. Now you can say, you knew me when. Here's an ode to my past friendship(s) and the world I use to dive into constantly. But now, I am venturing on and out. These poems are written to help others get through the friendship breakup pain and come out on the other side.
Honorable mentions: That can be found in my fifth poetry collection, "Finding Emily," "Approval Denied," "Shut the Door," and "Doormat."
Here's one of my main muses - those lovers that still sting and left a lasting impression - yeah those are mentioned throughout my writing.
But what I love about these poems is the growth they show as I get further and further away from that time in my life. Readers can feel the pain through my words, but also the growth and acceptance in the changes I have endured over the last few years.
Honorable Mentions for when I started to really grow from the ex-relationship: "Closing Our Chapter" and "My Chapter," which are the beginning poems from my fifth poetry collection, "Finding Emily."
Why is this a separate muse, you ask? Because my recent ex wasn't a lover and I don't really include him under the umbrella of ex-friends these days. He was the man who took advantage of me and screwed my mind up. But hey, I got some good poetry out of the pain, right? I did. But it was also hard to write, let alone release to the world. I did it, not only for myself but for those who have experienced it, too.
My social media poems only scratch the surface of the pain he caused me. When he dumped me in January 2019, the words started flowing and they haven't stopped. They only grew more intense as a year passed.
Honorable Mentions: That can be found in my fifth poetry collection, "Finding Emily," "Bad Intentions" and "Playboy."
Along with poems from my second poetry collection, "Loving Myself," "Cold and Warm Feelings," "You Took Too Much," "Gone," Seasonal Desires," "Naive Hopes," and "My Body."
Sometimes I feel like I should be in a bubble with all the hurt I seem to encounter on a day-to-day basis. But alas, I'm bubble-free and able to write about what I feel every day or have felt before.
I write to express myself and share my thoughts, not to please others and their opinions of me. I am not perfect and I won't pretend to be, so my poems show my raw and vulnerable side.
Honorable Mentions: In my third poetry collection, "Anxiety Doesn't Own Me," you can read about how anxiety affects me on a daily basis.
Just Thoughts In My Head
Sometimes my poems aren't about anything. Sometimes I just think and words come out. I'm a poet, so you know it happens that way every so often. Although this is rare for me, they still mean a lot to me.
If you ever question a poet/writer/author's words in their art, here's the full rundown from me. This doesn't cover everyone because we all write from different muses and backgrounds. We are all different. We are all beautiful. We all matter.
My art matters.
My words matter.