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Finding Yourself

Isn’t college all about finding out who you are or is it about finding out who you aren’t? Sometimes I think I am lost and don’t know who I am or where I want to go, then I find myself by accident. I’ve always been standing right in front of me waiting for my mind to realize all I had to do was reach out my hand.

This poem was written in a matter of minutes but turned into something beautiful. I never knew I had it in me. It probably wasn’t the answer Nick was looking for because it wasn’t straightforward. It was more of a puzzle even to me. Sometimes we surprise our own eyes and it ends up being the best thing for us.

Sometimes new friends pull out the best in you without even trying. I was challenged to describe myself using the letters of my name (I even added my last) to describe ‘Who Emily is to Emily’ to my friend. To amp up the challenge, I was to write it as a poem using those guidelines. I did it. I impressed myself.

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“Who is Emily?”

She is (E)lectric. Fire in the depths of her (M)oons. Burning bright for all to see her (I)nteresting qualities. You see her then you (L)ose her. Where does she go, which path of the (Y) does she take? Nobody knows… she disappears. (C)ount to three… (R)epeat it again two times. Is she gone, (A)re you waiting with open arms? Can she come home, (I)n the depths of your calm waters. Burn out her flames and (G)ather her in your arms.

Nick’s translation of my poem: It tells me Emily does know who Emily is. I’m going to try and translate what I think it means. You’re spunky, full of life, and full of energy. You know who you are and while you may be weird and a little off camber to some, you are confident in yourself and don’t feel the need to change yourself to be accepted by others. The Y in the road translates to even though you know mostly who you are, you are still discovering who you really are, who you’re destined to be, and if those two things line up with who God wants you to be. It tells me you like cuddles but on the same note, you want someone to help protect you and make you feel secure and appreciated.

My thoughts: I honestly don’t know what I meant. It just came out. Easier than expected. Wow! No translation of poetry is ever wrong… I think Nick’s is one in a million.

This was an eye-opener to even myself. College experiences are all about looking at yourself and saying, “Who am I? How would I describe myself to a new friend?” If you’re like me then you probably didn’t realize you even knew the answers to those questions. Sometimes it just happens with no thought process, but the flow of words.

I have tried to write a poem a day, but missed three weeks until Sunday (21st) and Monday (22nd). This is my poem for the 22nd and I think it turned out more than I could ever hope for in a piece of work that was written by me. Life is funny that way, I never knew I could write like this and it happened unexpectedly. Sometimes all you need is a boost. I encourage you to go find yourself, it may take a while, but it is worth it in the end. Seriously, welcome to my hot mess!

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